Attack Fear Or It Will Hold You Back
week I was fixing a computer system for a client of mine at their
office. They worked for a secure company and depended on a
salary on a bi-weekly basis. The client commented on how
"lucky" I was
to own and operate my own business and wished she could do the same.
I replied, "Why don't you do it?" The reply was, "I have kids and a family and we live from paycheck to paycheck. I couldn't possibly break away not knowing where our next meal was coming from! It's too scary!"
I explained to her how easy it was to start her own business while still holding down her present job. Then, when the business was bringing in more income than her job, she could quit.
You would think this would have calmed her fear. Unfortunately, she replied, "But where do I find the time? What if it doesn't work? I simply don't have any extra money to lose!"
Immediately, I determined that fear haunted this person's life. She had been stuck in the 9-5 existence for so long and depended on such a normal routine for so long that she was absorbed in it. Unless she wanted to at least try, our conversation was worthless to continue.
The easiest way to combat fear is by not using excuses.
Instead, you need to look for positive approaches to accomplish your
goal. If you want to start a business, attend a meeting at the
Better Business Bureau. Read some national magazines like "Income
Opportunities" or "Spare Time." Start reading the business
section of your newspaper. Gather some ideas and do a little
reading before actually jumping into a
business. Surely you can find some spare time to read.
problem you wish to solve - ask
the Kuan Yin
The Kuan Yin Oracle provides old Chinese wisdom for almost every problem.
Also, begin associating yourself with people who are in their
own business already. (An alcoholic never stopped drinking by
hanging around his or her drinking buddies. They made a
change by associating with people who don't drink.) Afraid to go out and make new friends? Attend a local business-related seminar in your community. Start watching television shows that are related to business. You'll eventually find people to associate with who know others and you'll be part of a new crowd - the motivating ones!
Fear is always your enemy. Look at it this way: If you never try, fear wins by 100%. However, if you do try, fear only has a chance of winning by 50%. If you needed a place to live and only had $10 to your name, would you allow fear to win and make you homeless? No, most of us would find a job or borrow the money to have a roof over our heads! Fear is the root of failure, depression and lifelong problems. Are you going to let fear ruin your life?
Fear also will cause you to lose out on many other things in life. If you fear the boss at work is going to fire you - it will naturally be on your mind day in and day out. It will eventually wear you down and you will begin making mistakes on the job. You will also get depressed and build up resentments that may have never been there in the first place.
|Facing fear head on is the best way to combat it. If
you think the boss is going to fire you - go up and ask
him. It takes
guts, but isn't it better than putting yourself through many
months of agonizing torture? Are you full of so much fear to
even ask him because you think it will trigger him to say "yes" when he
might not have been considering it at all?
Believe me - asking a boss "if" they are thinking about firing you will put you in no different position than you are now. In fact - it will have the opposite effect. The boss will more than likely respect you for your candidness and ability to face fear head on.
Is fear holding you back from a lot of things?
Are you afraid to confront people and tell them how you really feel? Do you smile in their face and talk about them behind their back? What's so hard about being truthful but using tact? Doesn't it get rid of fear and solve many problems?
Complaining is also an act that emotionally drains you and goes hand-in-hand with fear. In fact, fear is normally the root of any complaint. People don't want to admit their fear so they will complain to release some tension. This is a crazy merry-go-round! Instead of complaining, try to find ways to solve the problem.
A relative of mine used to drive me crazy complaining about her husband slurping his food. She never told him about it because she had a fear he would be embarrassed. But when I told her I was going to tell him for her if she didn't confront the issue head on, it scared her into talking to him. She was kind but stern about her complaint. She didn't instigate an argument but honesty told him it was bothering her. He immediately made a change and they lived happily ever after!
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